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Juventus 7 - Parma 0: Initial reaction and random observations

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You could say Parma got HAM-MERED, right, guys?

Valerio Pennicino

If you were to sit back and relax a little bit after Juventus took a 3-0 lead into halftime, nobody would have blamed you. A couple of Fernando Llorente goals and a completely unanticipated Stephan Lichtsteiner golazo can do that to a lot of people. "Hey, three goals to the good and we're sitting pretty. Somebody pass the popcorn and fire up the Abba on YouTube while we're at it."

But then Carlos Tévez went weaving through the Parma defense like a freaking madman, scoring what is and will be easily one of the best goals we'll see in Serie A and/or European football this season. Let us watch this about 1,000 times on a loop. I don't think anybody with Juventus colored glasses on will object after the first couple of viewings.

Tevez vs. Parma

And then Álvaro Morata comes on for Llorente and scores a pair of goals within 12 minutes of one another. And then Kingsley Coman had beIN Sports commentator Ray Hudson wishing he was a Frenchman after he replaced Tévez midway through the second half and subsequently ran the Parma defense ragged. And then the number of goals under the Juventus logo on the Juventus Stadium scoreboard kept getting bigger ... and bigger ... and bigger.

It was just one of those nights for Juventus where nearly every single thing went as good as it could have — and probably a lot more. This was a Juventus side without Andrea Pirlo, without Arturo Vidal, without an actual left back, and without two of its best central defenders. But what they still have is a strike force that had one hell of a day at the office against a defense that couldn't stop a damn thing even if its life depended on it.

It was just the perfect storm, folks.

I must say, though, this new system with a four-man defense Max Allegri has rolled out — Sunday it was more of a Christmas tree-like deal with Tévez and Roberto Pereyra supporting Llorente — is looking mighty nice two games in. Juventus' attack and midfield looks rejuvenated. The squad has its bite back, non-Luis Suarez category, and is just creating so much more than it used to.

Who wouldn't be happy after a game like that? Well, maybe a couple people.

Random thoughts and observations

  • It's been over a year and a half since Juventus dropped points at home in Serie A. That's insane.

  • Parma's defense is hilariously bad. Like, seven goals allowed twice through 11 rounds kind of bad.

  • If you get goal alerts on your phone like I do, you might need to charge your battery after that game. Bing! Bing! Bing, bing, bing! Bing! Bing!

  • Juventus since their loss to Genoa: Twelve goals scored, two goals conceded. I'd say that's a good ratio.

  • What we're seeing now is the difference between Stephan Lichtsteiner the right back and Stephan Lichtsteiner the right wingback. While he wasn't bad by any means as a wingback in a 3-5-2, Lichtsteiner's game is just suited so much better for an all-out right back roll. I don't think there's any doubt about it at this point.

  • Fernando Llorente back???? His first goal was a beauty, his second an easy finish off of Lichtsteiner's fine cross into the box. You just know scoring his first goal of the season got the confidence going again, and he's playing like it again. This is the Llorente we got so used to last year, and now he's got two really good games to build on heading into the international break.

  • Seriously, Kingsley Coman, guys. I know he came in when the game was long over, but holy smokes he was impressive out there. I would like him to play more, Mr. Allegri.

  • Álvaro Morata has four Serie A goals in just over 200 minutes. That's pretty good, right?

  • Claudio Marchisio with another quietly impressive game filling in for Andrea Pirlo. You've found your future position, Principino. No need to look further.

  • Seriously, Carlos Tévez's half-field run was amazing. The thing that started it all of will go unnoticed by a lot of people — how he won the ball back to start the one-man counterattack. The guy is just so good and works his ass off to contribute defensively.

    (Also, Pavel Nedved's reaction to Tévez's goal was AMAZING.)

  • Gigi Buffon had one save to make. It was really, really good. Then he just sat in his recliner for the entire second half and thought of what he was going to buy with his latest paycheck. Tough gig.

  • Two Paul Pogba rocket of shots led to two Juventus goals. What did they teach you as a young player growing up? Just put it on frame and could things can happen. They certainly did for Juve on Sunday.

  • See what happens when Max Allegri gives a start to Simone Padoin? Yeah, good things.