24 Hours of Juventus

Ever wondered what happens behind closed black and white doors? Not just what the club’s website gives us, more than just what we here at BWRAO can provide, I’m talking getting a first hand look at the life your favorite Juventini idols live, minute by minute. No need to worry, here it is, 24 Hours of Juventus!

5:58 Pepe quietly makes his way back into his room from that of Pirlo and Matri.

6:02 The loud tunes of Bob Marley and The Wailers’ "Riding High" coming from Iaquinta’s room wake everyone up.

6:04 Chiellini, Bonucci, Marchisio and Marrone update their Twitter accounts.

6:10 A clueless Pirlo applies the coach’s Rogaine on his beard, thinking it’s conditioner.

6:30 The players report for breakfast.

6:31 The team, led by Asa, says a prayer for the missing Isla.

6:31-6:35 #BOH #BOH # BOH

6:46 Vidal bets Pogba he’ll have more lines in his hair than him by lunchtime.

7:03 Giovinco and Giak are playing with Legos from their booster chairs.

7:15 Iaquinta takes his Suboxone.

7:28 Matri, sitting next to Vucinic, asks Pirlo to pass him the jam. Vucinic receives the jar of jam from Pirlo directly in his dominant hand after 0.038 seconds.

7:29 Vucinic loses the jam.

7:55 Tuttosport’s headline of the day features a Suarez photograph and: "Juve, attacco Champions: LuiSI"

9:00 First practice of the day is underway.

9:07 Antonio Conte has already lost his voice.

9:15 Iaquinta’s dad, interviewed by Gazzetta dello Sport claims his son is the top player Juventus needs.

10:30 Conte and Alessio have Stephan Lichtsteiner and Paolo De Ceglie practicing crosses with Chiellini, Bendtner and Barzagli as the intended headers in the box. After skying all but two of them, a frustrated Lichtsteiner sends a violent cross Chiellini’s way, breaking Giorgio’s nose for the eighteenth time since turning professional.

10:32 Giorgio Chiellini took a picture with Instagram.

11:45 Massimo Carrera still has more titles to his coaching career than Zdenek Zeman.

12:00 Marotta and Paratici are discussing mercato strategies for the summer.

12:10 Looking to add a few more lines to his head ahead of the showdown with Pogba, Marotta gets a call from Vidal asking him if he can help him find an electric shaver before lunch.

12:25 After consulting with Paratici and Nedved, Marotta proudly calls Vidal to tell him he has successfully reached an agreement with Atalanta’s Pierpaolo Marino for Marino’s own Panasonic electric shaver. The grooming device will join on a season-long loan fee of 15 Euros with a pre-agreed purchase option of 37 Euros.

12:25:36 After hearing the news of a shaver entering the club’s premises, Rubinho submits an official request to be transfer-listed to Marotta.

13:00 The first training session of the day ends.

13:03 Conte drinks a chamomile tea with honey for his voice.

13:15 Back at the hotel, the players gather around Pogba and Vidal, as the two midfielders get ready to determine who has the most lines. Upon hearing the word "lines" Iaquinta volunteers to be the official scorekeeper.

13:18 Vidal edges out Pogba 39-33.

14:10 Andrea Pirlo is the new face of Head & Shoulders.

14:30 Lunch is underway.

14:31 The players, led by Asa once again, prepare to say a prayer for their soon-to-be teammate Fernando Llorente’s well-being.

14:31:12 The prayer is interrupted by a football that breaks the 3^rd floor window and winds up on the kitchen table. Momo Sissoko is practicing his long shots in Florence.

14:44 "My husband or Messi? My husband, no question!" — Iaquinta’s wife in an exclusive interview for Sky Sport 24.

15:00 Giovinco and Giak take their mid-afternoon nap.

15:30 Chiellini, Bonucci, Marchisio, and Marrone update their Twitter accounts.

16:00 Training resumes with Conte and Alessio working with the strikers on attacking movements.

16:11 As the Rogaine results become visible, Andrea Pirlo contemplates quitting football altogether and touring the world as a one-man ZZ Top cover band.

16:30 While looking at Anelka and Bendtner in action, Antonio Conte wonders if Marcelo Zalayeta still plays.

17:45 Meanwhile, in Australia, despite Del Piero’s 138^th goal of the season, Sydney F.C is still absolute dead last.

18:00 With the forwards now working on penalties, practice comes to an end, and Angelo Alessio calls Quagliarella over to help him put away cones and flags.

18:01 Upset at not being allowed to shoot his last penalty kick, Quagliarella curses out Alessio in Napoletan and joins Bonucci on his way to the parking lot.

18:02:01 Bonucci finds a man wearing a ski mask trying to break into his Ferrari.

18:02:03 Bonucci has a gun pointed to his head.

18:02:06 The unknown man is pronounced dead on the scene.

19:34 With his beard now reaching his ankles, Andrea Pirlo has Arturo Vidal shave it off for him with his new shaver.

20:28 Almost an hour and twelve pounds of hair later, Vidal is overjoyed to find his fellow Chile teammate Isla alive and well inside of Pirlo’s beard.

20:30 Matri goes out to dinner with his girlfriend, while the rest of the team stays in to celebrate Isla’s return.

21:30 After feeding them dinner, Antonio Conte takes Giovinco and Giak to their room and tucks them in while softly reading Sam McBratney’s "Guess How Much I Love You".

22:00 The boys go to their rooms to sleep ahead of another long day of work.