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Shit Flying Everywhere - Amauri, Toni, & Iaquinta on Their Way Out

After weeks of negotiations, one-eyed-jack Marotta finally started completing some moves for new incoming and outgoing players. And as I read these "Officially Officials" about the latest "transfers", I keep feeling something weird, something old. It is a feeling of completion yet dissatisfaction. A feeling of "meh". I couldn't really tell what it was. Then I finally placed it.

Let's back up a bit. Did any of you collect Panini stickers as a kid of all the big football competitions? Every time there was a World Cup or a European Championship, Panini player stickers were the SHIZNIT to collect before the competition. I remember growing up and getting a lot of street credit for completing those Panini albums of 500-some stickers of stadiums, mascots, national team logos, players, coaches, etc. It was awesome. You could buy packs of 5-6 stickers each, and as you collect more and buy more, you keep getting duplicates. And here was the best part.

Panini Sticker Ferrara Conte Tacchinardi Juventus

In every album collection process you would reach a point where you stopped buying new packs and just used your duplicates for trading. All of us would sit down, write down the numbers for the player stickers that they were missing on a piece of paper, stack up their duplicates, and go out in the neighborhood to trade.

Of course, my favorite team to get completed first were the Azzurri. I would go miles away from home to areas of my city I had never been to in pursuit of that precious Maldini or Baggio duplicate that someone else had and I needed. Once I got the Azzurri done, I liked getting the star players. Romario, Klinsmann, Batistuta, and the rest. That was fun too.

Finally, you would get to the point where you have everyone that you care about, but you're still 20 stickers away from completing the album. As an impatient kid with all my priorities done, this was the worst. I would have to spend the last few days before the start of the World Cup scrambling to get rid of my duplicates by trading them for those last 20 stickers. It was a shitty, unexciting, worthless task that you know you have to complete but it really isn't worth anything. That's exactly how I feel when reading about the mediocre players that are leaving Juventus way too late. Meh.

Amauri Meme Juventus


Amauri to Fiorentina - It's basically a 6 month loan for which Juve will get €250K. During those 6 months, Fiorentina will pay €1 million of Amauri's salary, and the rest will be covered by Juventus. Amauri's contract with Juve expires in June, 2012, so he's free to do what he wants from the summer on.

It looks like it's finally over folks, WE HAVE GOTTEN RID OF AMAURI! Crack open the champagne and let the partying begin!

In all honesty though, I was initially a fan of Amauri and to this day maintain that he can be a useful player when handled with correctly. He's taken a lot of crap in the past 2 years from us Juventini, and while only some of that may have been justified, I cannot deny that it's been really fun ripping him a new one once every few months. I don't think he's a one-season wonder. He had a solid career at Palermo, played very well for Juventus immediately after his arrival, and then had a bad slump which totally destroyed his confidence. All the criticism followed, he kept logging in minutes without scoring, and the rest is history. Don't forget though, he had 7 goals in 11 games while at Parma on loan last season. That's no fluke either. The guy can score, especially on a team that can cross the ball. I'm curious to see how he'll fit with the Viola. I sincerely wish him the best of luck and may he never, EVER have anything to do with Juventus again!

Sorensen to Bologna - The transfer of the young Dane may not fit in the "shit flying everywhere" category, but it's still a pretty insignificant move for Juve's first team. Bologna signed Sorensen on a €2.5M co-ownership deal and will have him in their ranks for at least the next 6 months. While this is not confirmed, he is expected to log in a lot of minutes in Bologna and maybe even start. That'd be awesome. The 19-year old had a bright start to his Juve career last year and, granted he develops and improves consistently, can be a useful backup player in the future.

In return, Juventus signed young French midfielder Saphir Sliti Taider from Bologna also on co-ownership. He will stay at Bologna for the next 6 months as well.

Sorensen Bolgona Juventus

Borriello to Juventus - I know this is old news, but I had to throw it in here. You guys realize what we're doing here, right? We're selling one batch of average strikers and buying another. Who's next, Gilardino? Thank God he went to Genoa. Now watch Marco bag in a brace against Atalanta on Saturday.


Iaquinta to Parma or Palermo - Now that Amauri is (most likely) gone, the next couple strikers on their way out should be Toni and Iaquinta. Apparently, Parma and Palermo want to take Iaquinta off of Juve's hands...but only on loan. A smart bunch these Italian teams. That's pretty much all the talk about Iaquinta these days, which doesn't instill confidence that he'll leave. Fingers crossed!

Toni to Siena or Canada - You read that right: rumors say that Sr. Numero Uno is headed to either Siena or the Montreal Impact. I didn't know this, but the Montreal Impact is going to be the newest expansion team in the American MLS league this Spring. Unless you live in the USA....don't ask.

It would make a lot more sense for Mr. Mortadella mit Nutella to go to Siena - Conte's former club - than all the way to cold Canada. He may be looking for a change in scenery though. Either way, as long as he's out the door, nothing else matters.

De Ceglie to Roma - Young Paolo finally had a decent game against Cagliari and he is now talked about being loaned out or sold to our rivals Roma. Some are even saying Ranieri will try to bring him to Inter. Is he really that good of a backup?

Let's face it, De Ceglie will never be good enough for a starting left back spot at Juventus. We need a Lichtsteiner type that's a lefty in that role. Maybe even one that is more offensive minded. But I will give it to him - Paolino is a solid back up left back. He is young, tall, fairly agile, and looks very coach-able. He is also good friends with Chiellini - I believe they've been buddies ever since their Primavera days. I would almost keep him for locker-room atmosphere sake and save him for rainy days.


Guarin or Caceres to Juventus - We still have one foreign player spot left to fill for the season and Conte wants to fill it with none other than our very own Martin Caceres. Okay, he's not ours per say, but he did play for Juve on loan 2 seasons ago and was a stud! Technically not the brightest, but what he lacked in talent he made up in grinta. No wonder Conte wants him back.

Is it going to happen? Rumors are we have already agreed personal terms with the player, but Sevilla is countering our loan offer asking for more money and a guaranteed purchase at the end of the season in the excess of €10 million. If Marotta doesn't budge, we're most likely going to sign Porto's Guarin. The lad is apparently excited to play for Juventus, and he shouldn't be too expensive. He'll definitely cost less than €15 million. And while you nod in agreement with me that Guarin is not worth €15 mil, try and riddle me this:

Nainggolan to Juventus - Juventus is rumored to have tabled a bid of €15 million for the Cagliari midfielder. Seriously? 15 Million?! This can't be true, right? Though stranger things have happened.

From what I read on the Twitterz, Nainggolan doesn't want to move to another team in Italy, but instead he'd like to move abroad. If we really offered 15 mil for him and he rejected us, I will personally fly out to Cagliari and kiss his bald/shaved head with a loud smooch. Consider that dodging a freaking nuke!

Nainggolan Juventus

Krasic to anyone that will take him - Poor Милош is getting the Amauri treatment from the fans and the media. After a brilliant start to his Juve career, he has been reduced to a "fringe player" that doesn't fit in Conte's system and is weak, predictable, and not even that fast anymore. Gotta feel bad for the guy. Rumors say he is headed to England, but if he can't fend off a challenge in Italy, how long will he last on the island? Yikes. Poor guy. But hey, who knows. Maybe Conte will keep giving him 10 minutes at the end of random games and expect him to do miracles. That's sure to boost his confidence! :)

I know it's a Friday and this is not a preview of the Atalanta game which is tomorrow, but I felt like ranting about all these weak transfers and shit player rumors. Look out for John to spiffy up a quick preview of the game in Bergamo later today or tomorrow. Or not.

Oh, and I almost forgot. There is only one more player we are forgetting here that needs to GTFO of Torino.

So, who's putting Grosso on eBay this weekend?