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The Masters of the Calcio Universe vs. Skeletor and The Evil Viola

Krasic He-Man1

Saturday we defend Castle Greyskull from the evil forces of Skeletor. Milos Krasic and his fabulous secret powers will look to prolong the frustrations of Skeletor’s side after having only gathered two points out of a possible eighteen on the road thus far. In what has been the target of numerous attacks by Skeletor and the evil Viola, both of whom believe that the secrets inside Castle Greyskull and the Olimpico will allow them to conquer Torino and become the supposed Masters of the Calcio Universe. However, once Krasic holds aloft his magic sword and says: "By the power of Greyskull", Felipe Melo becomes the mighty Battle Cat, and Krasic himself becomes He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe.

Alongside He-Man and the mighty Battle Cat, are their three friends; The Sorceress Luigi Del Neri, who has a vast knowledge of calcio and history, she is among the wisest beings in Torino. He-Man often seeks her counsel, especially when situations are at their worst. Secondly there’s Man-At-Arms Giorgio Chiellini, who has an odd looking head and wears armor on his chest, arms, and legs. He-Man often depends on his ability to support their defence of Greyskull. Last but certainly not least is the Oracle of the Crystal Sea Alberto Aquilani, who has an uncanny ability to predict where play is headed. With these five Masters of the Calcio Universe at their best, Skeletor and the evil Viola have the unenviable task of trying to conquer the Olimpico on Saturday.

End scene.

Come on, who didn’t like He-Man when they were growing up? Exactly my point. Shit, Melo still watches four hours of those childhood cartoons each day. Speaking of Melo, although he’s playing really well and successfully managed to come a long way from his erratic form of last year etc. etc., the Brazilian midfielder still loves to play with fire. Not just on one occasion but on a number of them, Melo tried some joga bonito stuff in the middle of the park that made my jaw drop. Although he impressively pulled them off, there was little need for it and again it only complicates life as a defensive midfielder. Against his former team, he’d be well advised to stay focused on keeping things simple without trying anything too fancy. Find the open man and get him the ball. Btw Corvino, we've officially turned a profit on his purchase.

Krasic could also benefit from a few words of advice particularly if Marco Motta’s starting at right-back. Coach Del Neri will want to see Krasic show a little more willingness to defend and help out, either Motta or Sorensen, to deal with the physical Vargas or Santana. Here’s what the coach had to say about Krasic after the Genoa match;

“Milos has great talent but he still needs to get used to Italian football, which means helping out the defence”

Of course there’s a strong possibility that Del Neri could switch his wingers from the start and use Marchisio on the right to mark the aforementioned Peruvian, a similar idea first discussed by Adam over at Il Tifosi with the defensively astute Pepe at right wing in front of the youngster Sorensen. However, here’s what Pepe had to say recently about the possibility of starting from the bench against Fiorentina;

“Krasic is a great player and at this moment in time he deserves to play. That means I’ll be on the bench. Never mind, there will be opportunities for everybody”

Two words come to mind, class act. On the other hand, Fiorentina’s Mayor Matteo Renzi is super excited about the opportunity to experience a knee injury in exchange for a victory against us. Makes you wonder what he’d do to get reelected huh? Something tells me this guy has never suffered an injury in his life. In any case, if Fiorentina does win I’ll be the first to congratulate the Mayor, with my bat against his knee, several times. The Bianconeri tifosi can understand the whole ‘hate Juventus’ feeling from Viola’s perspective. There was that 1982 Scudetto thing, then that whole Baggio obsession, but I must say the hate is certainly not shared. We love you little purple Smurfs. They’re just so cute, you want to pick ‘em up and squeeze their little puffy cheeks. Ha.

On the opposite side of the ball, Skeletor will be without Frey, Jovetic, Montolivo, Mutu, Natali and Zanetti. Here’s the complete list of their call-ups. Gazzetta has them playing a 4-2-3-1 with Boruc; Comotto, Camporese, Gamberini, Pasqual; D’Agostino, Donadel; Marchionni, Liajic, Vargas; Gilardino. Camporese is their eighteen year-old Sorensen. Liajic is their nineteen year-old wiz kid. Gilardino is their twenty-eight year-old target man who can still finish and moves well off the ball. Although they pose some legitimate threats, this game should come down to our ability to control the midfield and cut off supply. Cue the Battle Cat.

Del Neri’s still without Buffon, Legrottaglie, Rinaudo, Grygera, De Ceglie, Martinez, and Amauri. Here’s the complete list of our call-ups. Common sense has them playing their standard 4-4-2 (or 4-3-3 going forward) with Storari; Motta, Bonucci, Chiellini, Grosso; Marchisio, Aquilani, Melo, Krasic; Quagliarella, Iaquinta. Grosso looked fairly active against Genoa and appears to have found his game legs, so expect Traore to feature in the second half. Pepe should see some playing time at some point. The same could be said for Sorensen, depending on the amount of swelling to Motta’s a**hole. Enjoy the game everyone, lets hope it’s a clean match with good refereeing above all else. Check the comments section below for up to the minute formation changes and stream links. Also visit the Fiorentina Offside for Mike's in-depth look at the history of this rivalry, and a reason why we squash the hate between both sides for Stefano Borgonovo. Btw, who else but Papai could create such epic artwork? Credit goes out to you my friend.

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