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In Case You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Shittier...

De Ceglie, Amauri, Zebina, Del Piero, and Diego, are now all in jeopardy for Thursday's Coppa Italia match due to a viral gastroenteritis, more commonly known as the stomach flu, which ran through the group after their preparations for the midweek game began in Vinovo today. For a more detailed description about this infection, I've included a little medical synopsis on the topic after the jump. In addition, I've highlighted the terms vomit and diarrhea whenever possible for your reading pleasure. Did I mention Marchisio is out for 20 days, and now Salihams is too?

What is viral gastroenteritis?

Gastroenteritis means inflammation of the stomach and small and large intestines. Viral gastroenteritis is an infection caused by a variety of viruses that results in vomiting or diarrhea or both. It is often called the "stomach flu," although it is not caused by the influenza viruses.

What are the symptoms of viral gastroenteritis?

The main symptoms of viral gastroenteritis are watery diarrhea and vomiting although one or the other symptom may predominate. The affected person may also have headache, fever, and abdominal cramps ("stomach ache"). In general, the symptoms begin 1 to 2 days following infection with a virus that causes gastroenteritis and may last for 1 to 10 days, depending on which virus causes the illness; however, most episodes last from 1-3 days.

Is viral gastroenteritis a serious illness?

For most people, it is not. People who get viral gastroenteritis almost always recover completely without any long-term problems. Gastroenteritis is a serious illness, however, for persons who are unable to drink enough fluids to replace what they lose through vomiting or diarrhea. Infants, young children, and persons who are unable to care for themselves, such as the disabled or elderly, are at risk for dehydration from loss of fluids. Immune compromised persons are at risk for dehydration because they may get a more serious illness, with greater vomiting or diarrhea. They may need to be hospitalized for treatment to correct or prevent dehydration.

Is the illness contagious? How are these viruses spread?

Yes, viral gastroenteritis is contagious. Outbreaks (in which many people are affected) occur primarily from eating or drinking contaminated foods or beverages. The viruses that cause gastroenteritis also are spread through close contact with infected persons through contamination with stool or vomit.

How does food get contaminated by gastroenteritis viruses?

Food may be contaminated by food preparers or handlers who have viral gastroenteritis, especially if they do not wash their hands regularly after using the bathroom. Shellfish may be contaminated by sewage, and persons who eat raw or undercooked shellfish harvested from contaminated waters may get diarrhea. Drinking water can also be contaminated by sewage and be a source of spread of these viruses. Medicinenet.com

So, that makes this the worst injury-riddled team in the world I think. I'm actually sitting in front of my computer laughing hysterically right now. How could this possibly get any worse? I'm a madman. I have officially lost my mind. Watery diarrhea Watery diarrhea Watery diarrhea Watery diarrhea.

IERI... OGGI... DOMANI... SEMPRE JUVE!!!