clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Juventus 5 Palermo 0 - Recap: A Black and White Affair

New, comments

champ.JPGBy now you've read the articles, heard the news, and seen the highlights. Juventus simply dismantled Palermo. So much so in fact, that Palermo's Head Coach was fired just a few hours after the match. Now that's what I call dismantled. Really, the only post-match items left to examine are the stains of either vomit or champagne on your carpet. Trust me, both of which are equally as terrible to remove, but one is far less as hard a task to stomach (no pun intended). If vomit was your beverage of choice, then my friend your unwillingness to admire magnificent football based upon team colours is more your grandmother's cause for concern than your physician's. If however, you enjoyed watching Juventus' performance based upon entertainment, you, like us fellow Juventini, have much to praise about and just as many empty champagne bottles to recycle.

A Black and White Affair In More Ways Than One

legofear.JPG Like I had hoped, Juventus came into this game with determination, hustle, and an insatiable hunger to beat Palermo. From the match's opening whistle, up until Zamparini began his way down to Colantuono's office, Juventus were practically playing against themselves essentially having their way with the Rosaneri. Within the first three minutes of the match, Juventus' intensions were almost immediately awarded as Iaquinta's low free kick nearly netted the Bianconeri's first. Shortly thereafter, it was none other then T-Rez (a.k.a. Kiss my mother's phat ass RayRay), who found Juventus' first goal of the evening and his eleventh of the season on a well executed semi-bicycle kick. Iaquinta and his always steady supply of determination led to Juventus' second of the match, after an ambitious Camoranesi cross found his Azzurri teamate who then quickly made the most of a Barzagli clearance gone bad. The horrible start for Palermo could only have gotten worse as their ex-coach's strategies proved as effective as a four year old condem kept in your wallet.

Once more, Juventus started the second half with the fire and hustle that saw them up two before the break. Nedved played his ass off and continues to surprise even his most beloved of fans (mainly hairdressers and myself). Camoranesi was just, well, Camoranesi. But really, the entire team played great. That's what made this win so enjoyable to watch since it truly was a TEAM effort. Damn, even our bench was productive. The energized (to say the least) Del Piero, who in the span of 30 minutes, mind-fucked Palermo's keeper Agliardi with a remarkable free-kick, threaded a magnificent assist to the newly re-activated Marchionni (who himself Chris Angel'ed Agliardi with a cheeky step over), and buried a penalty kick in the match's final minutes with the Rosaneri officially along with it. We looked good, I mean we looked reaallllly good.

Three points behind Inter for first, I'll take it. But what's worth more is knowing that Ranieri has whipped these guys into terrific form. Horribly terrific form that is. So horrible that since we're now capable of performances this masterful, we'll be seen as cruel for having such a ravenous appetite for goals. Too bad so sad.

Champagne Hangover's Are No Fun For Anybody

Now before we go all ape shit about the win (oops too late for that), we should remind ourselves of the problems associated with over-confidence. Well, just look at Milan this year. But seriously, this was only one game against a Palermo side who notably had their own problems. Now for our clash next week, we'll have to remember what made us so successful, and adapt that to Milan's style of play. No easy task. So thankfully, our elderly statesman Ranieri is doing all the talking and downplaying his team's success this season instead of one of us wildly passionate and sometimes impulsive Juventini. Oh well, that's what these blogs are for.

No One's Safe, Not Even Our Own Team

stare42.JPGSo yeah, It went something like this... Palladino said "Eh Molinaro, what the fuck?!? You should have given me the ball back, I had two guys on me, I was completely open. Don't you realise who I am???". Then Molinaro says something or other. But Del Piero, sensing his team was in the midst of a crisis up 4-0, steps in and says "Eh you little shit! You think your better than me! Huh, Do ya?!? I will lay you out on the fucking grass you bitch". He further taunts the young starlet saying "Come on say your better, say your better I dare you... I should just...", BANG! ADP head butts him. Now I should warn you, the videos circulating the web are pretty blurry so my translation might be a bit off. Come on, either way though that was quite bizarre.

Now I'm gonna try and convince myself that Del Piero never harboured any ill-will towards Palladino for getting picked over him in Donadoni's Azzurri, and that an uncle-nephew relationship does indeed exist. That said, Palladino must have said some pretty harsh things towards Molinaro in order to elicit such an uncharacteristic reaction from our capitano, right? If that's what really happened, then like Ranieri and Lego, I too believe that any form of inter-team criticism should be meet head-on (pun intended).

Off to Milan next week... Bring your tapered pants and man-purses.

Inter 28
Juventus 25
Roma 25
Udinese 25
Fiorentina 24

IERI... OGGI... DOMANI... SEMPRE JUVE!!!