Most likely to: Get a haircut before his senior photo.
Senior bio: A sense of position, courage, power and class. Many are the qualities required by a goalkeeper ton excell in his role and Gigi Buffon has them all. This is why he has always been considered to be one of the best if not the very best in the world. He has been declared so for four times (in 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007) while the IFFHS, the International Institute for Football History and Statistics in 2009 declared him to be the best keeper ever. With his outstanding personality, Gigi is a leader on the field and in the dressing rooms, a true leader for his mates just like the world champion that he is.
Principal's Comment: Keep on doing good work, Gigi.
Most likely to: Creep everyone out with his senior picture.
Senior bio: To consider Alexander Manninger a reserve goalkeeper would be making a great mistake. With his experience and reliability shown throughout his career the Austrian international would be first chpoice (sic) in many top teams. His qualities which never dwindled were highlighted during his experience with Arsenal when he was called to replace David Seaman. On that occasion he was to contribute greatly towards the historical double (Premiere League and FA Cup) won in 1998. Since then Alex has proven himself to be an absolute guarantee in the Juventus goal.
Principal's Comment: We like you just the way you are, don't whine about playing time!
Kermit the Frog
Most likely to: Be a muppet.
Senior bio: A very experienced goalkeeper, with many seasons in Serie A under his belt, he's now back working alongside Gigi Buffon, whose worthy deputy he was from 2002 to January 2006. He'll be wearing the Juventus strip again - a team with whom he won three League titles and two Italian Super Cups – after spells at Cagliari and Udinese. Before Juve, he had significant stints at Lecce, Roma, Salernitana and Sambenedettese, the Club that gave him his start in top-level football.
Principal's Comment: Suspension recommended for theft of another student's property. Student denies eating Willy Wonka's gum.
Most likely to: Skip photo day and submit one from the Primavera days.
Senior bio: Another youngster from the youth nursery promoted to the first team. After his positive first experience with last year’s professionals, Lorenzo Ariaudo deserves his definite promotion. He is considered to be amongst the best Italian central defenders for the future.
Principal's Comment: Nice work getting here. Now show us why we promoted you!
Most likely to: Let his schnozz take over his picture.
Senior bio: Notwithstanding his young age, Giorgio Chiellini has been for quite some time considered to be one of the best European defenders. A natural leftie he is capable of playing both as a central defender as well as fullback. He is very skilled at taking advantage of his acrobatical talent in attacking action and on set-pieces. He is one of the strong points of Marcello Lippi’s national team.
Principal's Comment: Honor roll last two years, go for the hat-trick.
Paolo De Ceglie
Most likely to: Look younger as he gets older.
Senior bio: After his first year in the Serie A with Juventus, Paolo De Ceglie confirmed himself as being one of the most promising youngsters. His adventure as a bianconero, which began in his early school days continues. He is capable of playing both as a left fullback as well as a left wing. He has very recently ended his period with Italy’s Under 21 squad.
Principal's Comment: You're coming off a mixed year but have showed glimpses of talent, keep up the growth.
Most likely to: Grow a mullet and then live down by the river with 10 kids.
Senior bio: With Pavel Nedved’s adventure with Juventus having come to an end, Zdenek Grygera remains the only Czech representative with the bianconeri. Having joined in 2007, he is in his third season with Juventus. He is a very versatile defender capable of playing in all defence positions: from central defender to both sides of the back line. He forms part of the Czech Republic national team.
Principal's Comment: Maybe you were just too tired last year, but you're dangerously close to being transferred this summer.
Most likely to: Make every woman hate his vow of celibacy.
Senior bio: He is one of the veterans at Juventus, both when it comes to age as well as maturity. Having moved to Turin in 2003, in the last three seasons he has confirmed himself as being one of the strongest and most elegant defenders, earning himself a re-call by Marcello Lippi for the azzurri. He is capable of playing in both central positions and taking advantage of aerial play in the attacking phase.
Principal's Comment: You are the role model, not Fabio, for Ariaudo, De Ceglie, Criscito, and all young Italian defenders who might end up at Juventus.
Most likely to: Be that guy who makes everyone wonder why he's still in high school when he should have left a long, long time ago.
Senior bio: Having joined Juventus from Roma in 2004, he is in his 6th season with Juventus. After finally resolving all his physical problems which condition his performances in the last years, the French defender wants to win back a role as protagonist both as right fullback as well as central defender.
Principal's Comment: Get out.
Most likely to: Have Aquilani eyes.
Senior bio: Is the long-distance runner and the leaper of the team. In two seasons with Juventus, he is one of the bianconeri to have made most appearances and most of all run most distances. Up and down the flank he goes, defending and offending.
Principal's Comment: Great work last year, keep on improving and you'll have cemented your place here.
Sergio Almiron Jr.
Most likely to: Submit a photo from his Wasserman brochure to interest other schools.
Senior bio: He returns to Juventus after the period spent on loan at Fiorentina. The Argentine player is in his third season as a registered Juventus player after his excellent performances with Empoli. A central midfielder capable of uniting quantity and quality in the midfield.
Principal's Comment: Quality and quantity, ha! I notice no mention of your seasons since Empoli, why is that? Get out.
Most likely to: Smoke plenty of weed, given his photo, skip a lot of class, and still be the best in the school.
Senior bio: In his 8th season in Turin, Mauro German Camoranesi can be considered a Juventus veteran. The Italo-Argentinian continues to represent fantasy expressed in his play, dribbling and passes but even in his shots on goal. In the year of the world championships he will be seeking to win a historical reprise of the triumph in Germany in 2006.
Principal's Comment: Please show up to class!!
Most likely to: succeed!!
Senior bio: After two good seasons in the Serie A, the second of which with Juventus, Sebastian Giovinco still hungers to be a protagonist in the team which raised him and launched him in top-class football. A player of crystalline talent who is capable of playing in all attacking positions.
Principal's Comment: Now that you have a teacher that believes in you, show us what you've got!
Most likely to: Take a classically bad yearbook picture, and end up working at the North Pole.
Senior bio: Fresh from a season in which he confirmed all his talent as midfield leader, Claudio Marchisio is still wanting to impress with the bianconeri, wearing a jersey which has become a part of him, a Juventus fan ever since he was a child, keeping in mind the national team in the year which leads to the South Africa world cup in 2010.
Principal's Comment: You remind me of Tacchinardi. Keep it up!
Most likely to: Represent the Aryan race now that Nedved's gone.
Senior bio: A strong point of the Danish national team, Christian Poulsen wants to make it to South Africa 2010 in top condition after a great season with Juventus. He is a central midfielder of great quantity which does not undermine quality and attempts on goal.
Principal's Comment: Attempts on goal? Please, do undermine them. If you want to make it to SA2010, you might want to consider the offers from BHS, LHS, or study abroad in Turkey.
Most likely to: Look positively normal in his picture.
Senior bio: He brought with him from Germany, from where he was transferred two years ago, all his adaptability. The Bosnian is a classical example of a player capable of interpreting in all roles: defending, attacking and scoring. All this without forgetting the great experience gained in all the years at top level.
Principal's Comment: We need you to show up to class, because defense is going to be busy this year.
Most likely to: Be the token diversity student, somehow in every yearbook photo.
Senior bio: Within a few months he managed to win the hearts of all at Juventus and the supporters. Momo Sissoko has been with Juventus for a year and a half and has since then been one of the strong points of the Juventus midfield. With his physical strength and his athletic skills, the Franco-Mali player is the man who closes all spaces and launches the attacks. Notwithstanding his young age he can boast of his participation in other important championships such as the Spanish and English ones.
Principal's Comment: Should you be taught reading and writing (making mistakes along the way) to be a complete student, or just hammer away solely at the math you excel at?
Most likely to: Smoke blunts in the parking lot with Camoranesi.
Senior bio: After having won important trophies with all the teams in which he played, Tiago Cardoso Mendes is looking to win a title even with Juventus in order to complete his rich personal collection. The Portuguese remains one of the most appreciated European talents.
Principal's Comment: Most appreciated European talents, really?
Most likely to: Replace Keith Dudemeister in Scrubs.
Senior bio: Cristiano Zanetti represents the experience gathered throughout the years in the most competitive Italian teams. He is the classical example of a playmaker who creates play, serves his mates with un-marking passes and precise long balls.
Principal's Comment: What are "un-marking passes?" This might be your last year at JHS, make it a good one!
Most likely to: Do 15-20 years for dealing cocaine.
Senior bio: Physical strength and Brazilian legs, possesses a devastating header and impossible to Mark on a one on one level, Amauri is one of the most complete international attackers. Very few are capable of completing the forward line like the Brazilian who is capable of holding on to the ball thanks to his excellent technical skills, making the team advance and be on time for goal scoring.
Principal's Comment: Face the front of the classroom more.
Alessandro Del Piero
Most likely to: Be the only player to be able to take a goddamn picture right!
Senior bio: There are no more adjectives in order to define Alessandro Del Piero. An attacker of pure class, capable of magnificent bits of play with both legs, great vision of play, ready to sacrifice himself, an unforgiving goal-scorer, Alex is a world champion, a monument to Italian and international football. He is the best striker of all times in Juventus history and the player to have made most appearances, the idol of the fans and the undisputable leader of the team. In one word: the captain.
Principal's Comment: Like your photo, your senior bio is extremely well done.
Most likely to: Show up sunburnt and drunk for senior photo day.
Senior bio: Centre-forward, second striker, wing in a three-strong attack: there are no forward roles that Vincenzo Iaquinta is not capable of covering with maximum efficiency. His flexibility unites the spirit of sacrifice and the extraordinary athletic skills with great technique and this has permitted him to build an important career with the peak having been reached in the Germany World Cup in 2006. For many it would be a definite goal but for a player with such a strong character it is only a starting point.
Principal's Comment: Flexibility? Are we talking versatility, or like physical flexibility, cause that's the last way I'd describe you, except for maybe "great technique."
Most likely to: Make a comeback.
Senior bio: Born in France of Argentinian origins, David Trezeguet is the prototype of the area forward. Within the 16 metres very few players in the world can compete with him. Rapid, always ready to anticipate, losing his marker and score, with a header or with both legs, with such a consistency that never dwindled throughout his long and extraordinary career which led him to win, amongst others, a World Cup and a European Cup with France. He is a true nightmare for any defence and it is now wonder that he is the best foreign goal-scorer in the history of Juventus.
Principal's Comment: After skipping the entire damn last year, do work!
Meanwhile in the cafeteria....